Question: What's the Saddest Part of Miss Teen South Carolina's TV Debacle?

Image Source: Onion.com

Like most people in the U.S. with a TV, I couldn't avoid the widespread coverage of Caitlin Upton's meltdown during this year's Miss Teen USA broadcast.

Yes, she embarrassed herself. Yes, both the question and her response might well synopsize all that stinks about the current state of education in the U.S. Just another not so subtle reminder that it is only a matter of time until we fulfill Mike Judge's prophecy.

[Note: According to Jeannie Moos of CNN, no 'credible study' could be found to substantiate the stat used in the question. Check out the following link for video of Moos' report, under "dumb moments"; I'd link directly, but don't see how that is possible/easy given CNN's site structure. Also note that MSNBC has a more sympathetic piece about Caitlin that tries to provide readers with a broader sense of who she is.]

But here is a question to both everyone and no one in particular:

What really is the saddest part of all this?

- Is it the fact that some soon to be model / actress / wife of successful alpha male flubbed her speaking part in a non-event and now might be derided by people she doesn't know for a few days?

- Or is it the fact that we're still having beauty pageants in the year 2007? Why are we still having these ludicrous exhibitions of tastelessness anyway? And why are people still watching? "You're pretty - yaaayy."

[Sidenote: If someone hasn't already done a documentary that intersperses clips from beauty pageants, dog shows and livestock judging events, they should. Free idea for any enterprising filmmaker who wants it. Here's the sell: Drop Dead Gorgeous meets Best in Show meets Miss Heifer USA -- but it's all real. Done and done.]

Or, if that's either too radical or too obvious of a question, here's another:

Who does anyone think they are fooling by including in these pageants a portion that solicits intelligent responses and opinions?

Disclaimer: please, anyone who stumbles across this, spare me comments about how many beauty pageant contestants have IQs >130 or have XYZ advanced degrees, etc., etc. I'm certain there are exceptions. Though I would like to believe most attractive, intelligent women realize there are many better things to be doing with their time and abilities than field questions from the likes of Aimee Teegarden and Mario Lopez.

Appreciation for Capital One's Commercials

I am not certain if both of these are from the same agency. They are both for Capital One, but for different lines of business. I suppose I could investigate, but that's one step further than I am willing to go right now.

Neither of these is the exact execution I recall seeing on air, but they are close enough to get the gist of them.

First one is below -- a timely spot given what is going on in the mortgage market. I saw this the same day I heard about their closing of a wholesale mortgage unit, but apparently the division that was closed wasn't the one advertised in this spot.



I just think the spot does an excellent job of tangibly representing the concerns about and ramifications of financial contracts that can backfire on you. I actually think it's a better conceit than what Capital One has been doing with their credit card commercials, like the tooth fairy, or the visigoths. However, among those, I do have a soft spot for the dragon slayer spot below, if only because the line "...and not just a big lizard" is brilliant.

Open Letter to John Krasinski: Please Don't Ruin the Office

Image Source: BritFilms.tv

The best thing than can be said about License to Wed is that its brief public lifespan -- from promo campaign through its exit from first release theaters -- didn't overlap with any new episodes of The Office. And by the time the new season starts I will most likely have the rotten stink that was License to Wed out of my mind. I didn't actually see the film, but really, did you need to? Just seeing the promos almost made me want to boycott everything Krasinski does. I simply don't want one of my favorite TV characters associated with another septic Robin Williams anti-comedy.

Honestly, why would you say, 'yeah, I really think Robin is on a roll with RV and Night at the Museum, clearly he has his finger on the pulse of America's taste in humor, let me jump on that comedy bandwagon while there's still time.' Were there no Cuba Gooding Jr. projects to get involved in?

Seriously, John, the golden goose has laid a cool and lucrative egg right in your lap. You get paid well and you're broadly admired. In return, the viewing public is putting their trust in you not to f*ck it up.

Question: What is the Saddest Thing About Lou Dobbs' Dye Job?

Image Source: MSNBC.com

A few weeks ago while channel surfing in some hotel during a business trip I was stopped short by a close up shot of Lou Dobbs on CNN. I don't watch much of Lou Dobbs Tonight because I don't have much patience for self-important grandstanding. So maybe this dye job he is sporting isn't news to folks, but it jolted me a bit. I remember Lou being pretty gray up top ~7 years ago when he was doing CNN's Moneyline News Hour and launching Space.com.



Image Source: CNN

So to see him with a rejuvenated thatch of red hair was a surprise.

After processing the shock, I thought to myself that this is generally sad, but I'm not sure what exactly is the saddest part:

- Is it a national "news" figure so vain and insecure that he feels compelled to dye his hair and is perhaps deluded enough to think people don't notice that he is dyeing his hair?

- Or is it the likelihood that if he didn't dye his hair an even smaller share of the American "news" viewing public would tune into his program because, for a depressingly large percentage of people, surface appearances trump content quality when determining which channel to watch.

These People Are Horrible: SalesGenie.com

Full disclosure: I work in advertising and fully believe in democratic capitalism, so I absolutely support the right of shallow, cynical hacks to develop and run corrupting, crap ads. But that doesn't mean I'm not disgusted when I see something so grossly manipulating and exploitative as the garbage that Sales Genie is currently airing. These haven't made YouTube yet, but if you are interested, click the "Watch our National TV Commercial" link on their site and judge for yourself. This is just one of a series of just despicable spots using 'adorable toddlers' who deliver lines like the following in a Cindi Brady-like lisp for extra smaltz effect:

"My daddy is a salesman. How much money he makes depends upon how much he sells. Last year he worked WEALLY hard. But he didn't make a lot of money."

I also believe in the karmic principle that those who "sow evil shall reap evil", and the asshats behind the current SaleGenie dreck can't have enough blight befall them for uncorking upon us such a purely rotten ad campaign.

Update: 8/3/07 - I just learned through AdHole that the offending Salesgenie commercial is on YouTube. Or, see it below.

What Will People Think of Today's TV in 2037? Consider "Alice" in 1977 for Perspective

While doing some random channel surfing a few days ago I stopped for a few minutes of Alice, the Linda Lavin and Vic Tayback vehicle about a hardscrabble yet lovable lout [Mel] who runs his Phoenix diner with the same gruff bravado he used to run his kitchen in the Navy.

I vaguely remember laughing along with the Mel, Alice and Flo hijinks as the show went into syndication in the mid / late 80s. But then I wasn't approaching my youthful TV watching in those days with an especially enlightened or critical mind and, besides, 'times were different'. But, wow, seeing this show in 2007 and realizing it was a big, national hit for 10 years makes you realize just how much times have changed in 30 years. Some of the lines from the episode that I stumbled upon recently, Mel's Cup, were stunningly dated when heard in today's world. For example, when it is realized that the ladies of the diner have misplaced Mel's cherished boxing cup, they express real fear that Mel is going to physically harm them. They were talking matter-of-factly about the chances of Mel putting a real beating on them for this transgression. Whoa. Surely some of the comedy here was exaggeration, yadda yadda yadda, but still, can you imagine that kind of storyline today? Not quite.

Note: clip above is just of the Season 1 intro, as I could not find any clips from the actual "Mel's Cup" episode itself.

You Should Be Watching Googlecurrent

The Google Current segments are consistently solid, but recently I saw one that was extra brilliant. Subjects of their satire this time: national advertising campaigns and promotional efforts of Georgia and Israel.

A couple of quotes that will come off much better if you watch the full video at Current.tv [annoying that their embeddable videos aren't full clip]:

"Coming to Israel based upon a few pictures I saw in Maxim was the best decision of my life."

"The women are so hot here things just blow up when they walk by. Which is all the time. I'm going to retire here as soon as my Georgia investment money pays off."

But clip below gives you good sense of the primary comedy value.